Pages

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Primarily Nocturnal


I've gotten new tattoos and another piercing
I'm thinking about growing my hair out a bit
I need the outside world to understand
that I'm a completely different person now
If I walked around looking the same as I used to
they'd hold me to the same high standards
But now I'm partially numb or maybe just
missing a limb or two
I've been craving physical pain, Bukowski, and ultraviolet dreams
God has left the building but anger's filling the gaps
I used to walk for an hour until I found my peace
then one day it just stopped working
So I started to run, and I now I can't really stop
Losing our first baby four years ago today
taught me how dark this earth can really be
But now I see that the whole horrible ordeal was a
training camp for the true blackness that was to come

So now I spend all of my free time with a boy who
lives below a billboard that reads "There is hope for your future"
So I keep showing up, in hopes that the phrase comes true
He uses words like antidisestablishmentarianism and cooks me ribs
We've become primarily nocturnal and possibly codependent
but I'm not really concerned
He's a blonde partial-Republican and says that I am
both beautiful, and the most practical human being alive
I'm not really sure what that means, but I like the way that
he keeps his cash in a crumpled ball in his pocket