Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Unintentional Hermit


1. Lack of variety and interest; tedious repetition and routine.

The monotony of having to be home in order to put Lex to bed by 7 p.m. has really started to wear on me. Since I'm not able to push Ben's wheelchair and Lex's stroller at the same time, I'm unable to leave the house with them during the day. Occasionally we will go for a drive and get some coffee, or lunch. But we never leave the car. After work each day I'm left with about two and a half hours before I need to be home and Lex needs to be in bed. I've discovered that I'm really craving the presence of more human interaction in my life. In California my typical schedule included working at two schools and one in-home session per day. In total, I came across hundreds of people each day. I'm missing everything from the grumpy interactions with the school secretary, to the mindless conversations with the poof-haired lunch lady, to the cute hugs from all the kindergartners on the playground. Right now, five days a week, I basically come in contact with eight people a day. EIGHT.

During the gap between work and bedtime I feel the need to visit all the stores in town to just be around people. I'm just like those little blue-haired grannies who spark up conversations with anyone within a fifteen foot radius of them.  In fact, last week I had a good fifteen minute conversation with one of them regarding what type of window insulation I should buy for the winter. I make eye contact with anyone within the 25-35 year-old range, and make begging eye motions to them. Pleading, "pleeeeeeeeeeease talk to me, pleasssssssseeeee, say something. TALK TO ME!"

But, since I have to be "the good mom" and let my kid get a "good night's sleep" I'm trying to make the best of it. When we moved into our apartment I was delighted by the random extra nook area off the kitchen. I immediately claimed it as mine. We have a TV but have not had "channels" for over seven years. Not because we are trying to make a statement to humanity, just because we are too cheap. So I watch a lot of Hulu and do a lot of sketching/sewing/painting/writing to keep myself from going stir-crazy. In the last few weeks I've been watching all of Season One of My So-Called Life (!). I think I'm going to watch them all a second time just to count how many times they use the word "like." But oh man, Jordan Catalano can still make me go weak in the knees. Anyway, yes, I love my cozy little nook and I am blessed to have the time and space to create "stuff" every night.

my nook 
Decorated with my grandmother's curtains from the 1970's. 
Everyone in my extended family has dispised these for years.
But I love them. 

I'm obsessed with keeping all of my used coffee cups as a physical 
reminder of the money I've spent. It helps curb my future coffee purchases. 
Some of the time...

1 comment:

RaT Babies said...

It sucks being lonely huh?! I totally feel it too hun.

Love what you have done with your nook though. It is so YOU.